Thursday, May 19, 2016

Penalties of Authoritarian Parenting

Do you believe that it's your job as a dad or mum to have control over your children? Do you find yourself trying to regulate your youngsters within the methods your parents tried to manage you, or in the methods you discovered from siblings, associates or kinfolk? Do you hope that by way of yelling, threatening, shaming, blaming, judging, demanding, spanking, nagging, lecturing, explaining, arguing, and so forth, you're going to get them to do what you need them to do? Is it working?

Most of us do not wish to be controlled, and children are no exception. Whereas they could comply in sure areas to avoid punishment, they will possible resist in other areas.


Your selection to control at all times has negative consequences on your youngsters. You will need to join your controlling behavior with the consequences that may end result. Whereas controlling may work within the brief run, it could actually create many issues in the long run.

What are the problems you are having?

* My youngster and I get into power struggles.

* My baby does what I need most of the time however turns into resistant in sure areas. My little one resists:

Taking a shower or bathe

Brushing enamel

Going to mattress

Doing homework

Preparing for school


Going to school


Conserving his or room clear

Doing chores

Telling the truth

Dressing appropriately for varsity

Utilizing appropriate language

Wanting good

Being form and thoughtful

Being on time

Talking with me

Having my values

Consuming well

Caring about his or her well being. Instead, she or he:


Drinks alcohol

Smokes pot

Makes use of medication

Eats junk

Caring about his or her security. As an alternative, she or he:

Rides a motorcycle and not using a helmet

Drinks or uses medication and drives

Drives recklessly

Has unprotected intercourse

Walks in harmful areas

Calling when he or she is going to be late

Caring about what's essential to me

Being loving to me

Listening to me

Getting a job

* My little one never does what I ask. He or she is always resistant.

* My baby suffers from low shallowness.

* My little one is depressed.

* My little one feels unloved.

* My little one is bossy with other kids.

* My baby is tense, anxious, angry and/or sad.

* My little one beats up on younger children.

* My baby does not take private responsibility.


Your controlling behavior might also have destructive consequences for you, particularly in the long term.

What are the results for you?

* Parenting is just not enjoyable. It seems like a burden.

* I really feel resentful toward my baby.

* I'm tired of the power struggles.

* I feel tense, anxious, angry or annoyed.

* I really feel like a failure as a dad or mum.

* My child and I do not need enjoyable together.

* I really feel rageful and out of control.

* I really feel overwhelmed.

Parenting really can change into a splendidly fulfilling expertise if you study to mother or father as a loving and respectful grownup fairly than from the concern and insecurity that underlies controlling behavior.

The key of letting go of controlling parenting is to be taught what it means to be kind to yourself. In case your focus is on being variety to your children however to not your self, you will likely become a permissive guardian, which has simply as many adverse penalties as controlling parenting. When you give attention to being kind to your self, you naturally refuse to tolerate unkind behavior from your youngsters. Nonetheless, as an alternative of trying to control your youngsters, you learn to care for your self. By learning to take loving action in your own behalf and setting logical consequences for your youngsters's unacceptable conduct, your children will learn to take personal responsibility much more quickly than once you try and power it on them.

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